Dad and Mom's 50th Wedding Anniversary

Moma and Dad just celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary last December 27. Amazing! I can still vividly remember celebrating their 25th Anniv in our house in Q.C. then we also celebrated their 40th in Tagaytay.

This celebration was especially poignant because many of Dad's siblings have passed away... Tito Carlitos, Tita Hermy, Tito Dido, Tito Rick, Tito Jaiming. Most of them passed away barely 12 months ago... Lola Lourdes (Mom's mother) also passed away a few days before the celebration.

Here's the speech I gave during the celebration in honor of my beloved parents:

"Thru out the 50 years of marriage, mom and dad's roles have evolved. As a newly married couple, it was just the two of them. Caring for each other and building their relationship as LOVERS. But when the kids started coming one after the other, they became true PARENTS. One as the PROVIDER, working to bring in the money needed to sustain the family, the other providing the motherly love as a CAREGIVER and selflessly sharing her presence needed to build the kids' personalities and values. Both roles, equally important. Both were ROLE MODELS sacrificing much for the sake of the family. Dad practically had to handle 2 jobs as he shuttled from Bacolod to Manila handling the 2 offices. Mom endured years of stress as the mother of 4 rambunctious kids while Dad often left her alone... to play volleyball in Luguay.

I can't imagine how Mom pulled thru those trying years... I still lay claim to the record of most house damage in the least amount of time. I ruined 50000 worth of chinese antiques in a split second after I cartwheeled into a shelf full of chinese jars. You guys ever wonder why mom gets nervous everytime I get near her chinese stuff? Kaya panay bato, bakal at kahoy na lang ang binibigay niya sa akin pamana. mahilig naman daw ako sa tribal artifacts.

Then, when dad joined the government, mom had to become more entrepreneurial and so she too became a PROVIDER.

They were EDUCATORS too. Mom honing our language skills and Dad terrorizing... Ah este training us in Math. They were COACHES in more ways than one. All of us boys grew up loving sports. But more than that we got an earfull of wise, life-coaching advise... Solicited or unsolicted... but nonetheless very much appreciated.

As we began our careers and started our own families, dad and moms roles continued to evolve. No longer doting parents, they became our SAFETY NETS. Always around to provide us the financial and morale support when needed. Mom can u babysit? Mom can I borrow the car? Dad can u lend me some money? Pay u back in 5 years.

All thru out these changing times, I've always been amazed at how my parents have adapted to these changing roles with so much grace. Sometimes I think it is us kids who have not adapted well to these changes. We falsely think our parents will always be the same way. Forever young and forever a part of growing up.

I recall facing stark reality just a few years ago when I foolishly invited dad to ride my mountain bike. Dad, already in his 70s, rode the bike alright. But I forgot to tell him where the brakes were so he careened downhill, lost control, and flew off the bike, landing face first into the dirt. I distinctly remember wondering what the jail term was for killing your own dad.

Luckily, despite the temporary amnesia, dad recovered without permanent damage. I think. I still get a rush of guilt when he calls me up and forgets why he did. Senior moment lang yun. Di ba dad?

Nowadays, we are all grownup and thru the grace of God we are all healthy, more self sufficient and comfortable, living our lives and bringing up our own families... It may seem that mom and dads roles in our lives aren't as evident.

We think our parents will always be around, ready when we call on them for help, and yet keeping them a safe distance away so they don't cramp our style... .

Many times, instead of showing our gratitude for all the years of parenting, we rebuff them and shun their help.

Ironically, I think our parents way of pushing us to value our independence and to make our own way, is partly what drives this behavior. It is truly their greatest legacy that they have equipped us with the tools to build our own families.

So, Dad and Mom, the next time you feel your help is being snubbed... just remember that its your own fault for teaching us too well!

Yes we can never avoid the fact that our lives are continually changing, our roles evolving. I realize that eventually, our new role will be to care for Mom and Dad as they have cared for us.

One thing will never change, it is the fond memories of life's little lessons, and the love that drives it all. Next year, my family will likely be in Australia, although a part of our hearts will always remain with Mom and Dad. Mom, Dad, don't worry, we will always be there for you even if we're physically away.


I love you Mom. I love you Dad.

Pacman Eats up the Golden Boy

Thanks to a couple of free tickets from Dennis, I got to watch the Pacquiao - de la Hoya fight with Kiko in Rockwell (live via satellite).

I think this is the first time I've gone inside a dark theater to watch a boxing match. It was full and luckily we had guaranteed numbered seats. You could feel the excitement of the crowd as he pre-event matches finally wound down. And when Pacquiao first appeared on screen, wrapping his own hands (!) as Roach looked on, the crowd began to clap and a muffled roar let off from the audience.

Of course I wanted Pacquaio to win but I had serious doubts about him winning against the future hall of famer, de la Hoya. Was I ever so wrong. During the first round, I wasn't too excited and refused to clap at the puny jabs that Pacquaio threw against the golden boy's gloves. He's wary of running into that jab and vaunted left hook of de la Hoya I thought.

Then I saw something remarkable, Manny threw a left hand lead that kicked back Oscar's head. Not that big a punch but you could see Oscar's face change. Wow, I thought, Manny didn't even set that up with a right jab. He just went in and threw it. And in the following rounds, he did it again, and again, often times spinning to Oscar's left and avoiding the expected right counter punch. Amazing! Manny didn't seem to have lost any of his speed.

To sum up the experience, it was a satisfying and jubilant win but I agree with the many pundits that it wasn't even close to the Pacman's best matches.

I personally think that Manny's best fight remains his sensational win against Barrera way back in 2003. The latter was being touted as one of the best boxers ever and Manny was an unheard of Filipino. But Manny shocked the hell out of the boxing community by overwhelming Barrera, stopping him in the 11th round. Manny was amazing in that fight. His combinations quickly landing before Barrera could move.

Well, this last fight with de la Hoya wasn't great but it certainly was memorable. Manny still showed his quickness and a new trait... patience. That it was a mismatch is not Manny's fault really, Oscar was just so slow. Maybe he trained too hard... maybe he just couldn't fight at that low weight.... Maybe he went on a South Beach or an Atkins low carb diet... he he he.


I think Roach said it best. "My fighter trained to win, Oscar trained to make the weight".

Reminiscing in Bacolod

Just got back from Bacolod. I had the good fortune of being invited to back to give a talk to a Rotary Club. I only stayed overnight but it was great to be able to see some of friends who I haven't seen for close to 30 years!

It has been a while since I last visited. Last year I literally passed by on my way to and from Sipalay but I didn't really get to see much of my childhood hometown. Before that, I had visited in 2004 and I did get to see old family friends like the Namins and the Jacintos.

This trip though was especially memorable. I got a surprise call from an old swimming team buddy, Romy Lopez. He and a couple of Batch 81 friends were having an impromptu reunion. He saw my face in the Rotary print ad and decided to invite me as well.

Although I recognized Romy I had to struggle to with the other guys. 30 years! Its amazing I could still remember some of the names. John Bonnin, Bong Gindap, Mayo Unson, Vince Soberano, Dave Alba, Gerard Mora, Gil Octaviano, Baby Legaspi, Ray Tiongson and Jonathan Sales. As we talked though, memories began to flood in and their 40++ year old faces started to become younger and younger as the night wore on. By the 4th beer, I could see all of them as 14 year old faces.

Those were memorable years indeed. We were in the middle of puberty and our hormones were rampaging through our bodies. And the experiences and escapades were retold again and again that night. First loves never really die. Nor do first crushes. We recalled our trip to Siliman U in Dumaguete for a dual meet of the swim teams. Vince and I vividly recall the 2 beautiful mestiza sisters from Siliman who broke records and some young hearts.

Vince is amazing. A 44 year old world title holder in Muay Thai (kickboxing)! He looked like he got carved out of a granite rock. I couldn't believe this guy's passion for his art. He's the real deal. Google him and check out his knock out fights on You Tube.

Romy is the same Romy. He was probably the most down-to-earth nice guy then and even now. He was just one of those reliable and conservative friends, who would never give you any BS. He was one of the most hard working in the swim team. My impression then was he got a solid set of values from his "Papa" (who seemed to never fail to personally pick him up after school). Now he is married to his former bank officemate, and they have a 2 boys, 13 and 7. but surprise, surprise, a girl on the way. We each had a nice bowl of pancit molo soup to wind down the evening at 2am; a truly traditional Illonggo way to nurse a hangover after a night of drinking.

We agreed that I have to come back.... soon. Perhaps a climb up Mt. Kanlaon in November? I remember being very upset at not being permitted to climb this fabled volcano way back in the 70s. Last year, some of the guys sent me an invite to climb but my trip to Switzerland got in the way.

Well I'm aiming for that climb in November... I hope the weather holds out. I've had a streak of bad luck this year caused by weather. Rains prevented a boat trip (and a dive) around El Nido in January, my climb up Guiting-guiting was aborted due to fog, and our voyage to Tubbataha got scuttled due to the early monsoons. Weather weather lang yan.

Climbing Mt. Guiting-guiting

That Sibuyan trip was really memorable and not just because of the boat ride. Mt. Guiting-guiting dominates the Sibuyan landscape. As far back as the 80s I have heard about this legendary mountain named after its jagged, scissor-like peaks. It's not as hard to climb as Mt. Halcon but it's noted to be a dangerous and scary climb because you have to pass through a knife-edged ridge to get to the peak. If the winds are strong and the fog is thick, passing through this ridge can be hair-raising.


The usual route is to climb from Magdiwang town and reach Mayo's peak by the end of the first day. On the second day, you drop your pack and assault the peak via the knife edge and then back again to the Mayo's peak camp site to spend the night. By the third day you are back in Magdiwang. Its a good itinerary that's been well developed since the 80s. But the weather can be tricky at Guiting as we were to find out. It's even more unpredictable during a La Nina year like 2008.

In the mid 1980s 4 mountaineers from UP perished on this mountain. The 4 were acquaintances and part of that friendly rivalry between our UP Divers Club and the UP Mountaineers. Their deaths were brought to my mind again a few days ago. 4 mountaineers from AMCI were caught by a flashflood while climbing down a mountain in Zambales at the height of Typhoon Frank. One of the climbers survived unlike those in Sibuyan. The townfolk of Magdiwang still remember the day when the bodies were brought down from the mountain over 20 years ago. When they retell the story, first names are used to describe the 4. It was with this in mind that I started my trek.

It was already mid April but intermittent rains were still falling. The peak was almost always obscured by thick clouds. After an hour or so of hiking we had entered the thick forest that Sibuyan is best known for. At this point, we knew that this wasn't going to be an easy stroll. Poor Ed was already struggling despite having a porter to carry most of his stuff. All through out the climb I was worried about him and I was wondering whether he would ever forgive me for suggesting we climb Guiting-guiting during this project site visit.

The ascent was gradual at the start but before long it became steeper as we moved through the thick forest. Even if it wasn't that hot and we were shielded from the sun by the thick foliage the humidity was stifling. Beads of sweat were running down my face and eventually I was soaked from head to ankles (I managed to keep my toes dry using thick socks). The guide and porters looked they were off on a Sunday stroll. The 2 porters had slippers on and despite that their surefootedness was astounding. Although the forest was thick, the trail was well established and the first 4 hours wasn't so bad. Eventually though we came upon a thicket of thin bamboo that kept getting snagging us. After 5 or so hours of walking, having these crooked little branches holding you back can be very infuriating. After the bamboo thicket the climb got a bit less irritating and a lot more scary. We were on all fours climbing up a 70 to 80 degree slope. Not easy with a full 40 kilo pack. Although this was the best place to admire the view, you can't really enjoy it when you're clinging on to dear life. Almost one and a half kilometers straight down was Magdiwang with its famously clean rivers meandering from the Guiting slope. After 9 exhausting hours we were finally at the camp site on Mayo's Peak. The camp was damp, muddy, misty... in short, miserable. At least the rain wasn't continuous and it allowed us to pitch our tents and cook without too much difficulty. Sleeping was tough especially when you accidentally set up your tent right on top of a big tree root. It didn't help that someone was snoring so loud it made the thunder sound mellow. My North Face tent was great and it held up well despite the rains and flooded camp ground. The next morning I could feel a big puddle of water under my tent (obvious poorly set up) but the inside was dry and the cold temperature inside was tolerable.

As we ventured out of our tents to have a look at the peak though, it was obvious that we weren't going any higher. We could see no further than 10 feet in front of us, and pushing through with the knife edge traverse would be unsafe. That day, the mountain had decided she was closed to visitors. Our guide said that his estimate is only about 70% of those that start out climbing Guiting ever reach the top mainly because of the weather. I needed no convincing and I told the group I was ready to go down.

If the 9 hours going up was exhausting, the 8 hours going down was excruciating. I knew I wasn't that well prepared physically for the climb. My strength and endurance training was barely a month long and I was relying on my banked fitness and mental toughness to get me through this. The leg presses served me well and my legs hardly cramped on the way up but my muscles seemed very unprepared for the downhill stress. My legs were quivering and there was muscle pain on almost every step. Luckily, my reconstructed Anterior Cruciate Ligament (ACL) on my left knee was not a problem. In fact there was no palpable difference between my left and right leg.. both felt terrible. Every so often, my legs would buckle under me and I would end up sliding down on my ass.

It was night fall by the time we got down to the ranger station and the rain was pouring. A few minutes earlier we had made the stupid mistake of cleaning up at the river but we were again muddy from the short slippery walk from the river to the station. It seemed strange that we were complaining more about the last 30 minutes when we had gone through a total of 18 exhausting hours of hiking.

(go to my Sibuyan photo album for more photos).

Sibuyan and Inter-island ferries

This latest disaster involving the ship, Princess of the Stars brings to mind my own recent trip to Sibuyan Island. The ship sank just 200 meters from the shoreline of San Fernando, one of the towns in Sibuyan I visited last April. One of the first reports of casualties was issued by Mayor Tansinco, who had graciously hosted breakfast for us back then. Her desperate call for help for her typhoon ravaged town came out in the papers today. My heart goes out to her and her hospitable town that sits at the foot of the Guiting-guiting mountain range.

Sibuyan is an amazing island that's been isolated from the rest of the Philippines since before the ice age. Hence its flora and fauna has been unique and very diverse. Luckily much of the forests surrounding the mountains are still intact. WWF has been working in Sibuyan for more than 10 years and I believe this is one of the reasons why many of the people there are quite conscious of their environment and are very passionate about keeping their forests intact.

I also recall vividly the inter-island ferry that brought me to the island. The weather was much calmer back in April but even then I would shudder to think how it would be like to be on board a sinking ship. With almost all decks of the ship full of people, it's no wonder scores of people die when ships like these sink. The ship I was in wasn't as big as the Princess of the Stars (capacity: 2,000) but still we must have been close to 1,000 given the way they were packing people in. There seemed to be more people than bunk beds. With ships like these, you basically had 3 choices. First class cabin, first class bunks, and what they call COB, cot on board. Most passengers though call it Carton o Banig... and for good reason. People grab any open space on the decks and simply lay down their mats and carton sheets to sleep on. As soon as they're on board many of the passengers won't even leave their spot lest somebody comes along and steals their space.

We thought we were lucky to get the last few bunks at the "first class" section. After going down 2 decks below, I realized it was going to be a long night. The A/C was blowing vast amounts of tepid air into this dark room full of bunks which reminded me of a dungeon. I situated myself away from the draft and took a mental note of where the exit was before forcing myself to sleep. No such luck though and to make matters worse, at the wee hours of the morning, more passengers started to noisily stream into our deck. Apparently our ship stops at 2 other Romblon towns to pick up passengers.

The ship, like most interisland ships in the Philippines, was probably more than 10 years old. Possibly an old discard from either Japan or Taiwan bought cheaply and refurbished by enterprising Pinoys.

When early morning came I recall seeing the silhouette of Sibuyan Island with the 2,000 meter peak of Mt. Guiting-guiting hidden by the clouds. The memories of a sleepless night slowly faded away as the rising sun began to illuminate the island. There were so many kids on board and their playful laughter and excited talk filled the ship.

It's hard to imagine that almost everyday, these scene is replicated as thousands of Filipinos travel to and fro the islands of this archipelago. Sometimes I think about how to make travel like this safer. There seemed to be enough lifejackets and lifeboats on board yet when ships like these sink, more often than not, over half the passengers perish. In the case of the Princess of the Stars, it's not even a 10 percent survival rate. Experts say that many people simply freeze in terror when placed in a life threatening situation. Could this have been why hundreds died in the Princess? Many of the passengers apparently had time to put on their lifejackets. Yet when faced with the seemingly simple choice between jumping into the sea and staying inside a sinking ship, many chose the latter. Part of this I think is because many (or is it most?) Pinoys don't know how to swim. I've tried to teach adults how to swim in the past and seeing the sheer terror in their faces is a sight I won't soon forget.

The same experts believe the key to breaking this lethargic reaction to crisis is training and drills. So these fire and earthquake drills really do make a difference. A simple act of reading and internalizing those safety cards on the plane can save lives. So the next time you hear, "slip vest around your neck, slip tape around waist and hook into d-ring, pull string to inflate..." listen carefully!

Working in WWF Part 2

Adjusting to KKP has been quite a challenge indeed. The biggest difference compared to my past corporate life is the amount of thinking and planning that is brought to fore when we do our work. Everytime we get into something, careful planning, consultation and strategic brainstorming is done. As a result, our project work is usually well thought-out and documented. There is always a view of the long-term and a careful analysis of how the work benefits the communities.

Unfortunately, this also means things move slowly (but surely). Quite different from the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants style of my past corporate life. Can't really take a lot of risks in NGOs. Firstly, it's not really the org's money. Donors who give the millions can be very particular on where the money goes. Most of the time they restrict the spending to purely project related expenses. Only a small percentage can go to paying office overhead. That's really tough when the projects are few and far between.

Secondly there's really not enough money to start with, so careful planning is needed to avoid squandering it. In the corporate world often times you'll hear some bosses willng to take risks with the attitude of, "Well there's only one way to find out if this idea will work, let's try it out." A lot of times in business, we take risks because time is valuable. Pussy foot around and your competitor beats you to it.

Not to say that I never did feasibility studies or strategy documents, but nothing like the volumes that I've seen in WWF. I'm not saying it's wrong. Just that it takes a lot of getting used to.

I've moved around companies enough over the years and I don't recall ever having much difficulty adjusting to a new job. Well maybe I did. Moving from marketing into human resources management was a bit hard. I recall having a so-so performance evaluation during my first year. But after that, I hit my stride.

Shifting into the NGO world though is a different story. I had to dig hard into my data bank to bring up past learnings and experiences that I could apply to the new challenges that I was facing. It didn't help any that due to the lack of financial resources, much of the usual solutions just seemed out of reach. Nope, you can't just hire an extra hand to fix this or that problem. Everything is DO IT YOURSELF, or PUEDE NA YANG PAGTIYAGAAN (just grin and bear it).

Some of my friends who have seen me at PDI are shocked when they visit me at KKP. I used to have a big room, a huge desk, a big sofa with a coffee table at PDI. Now I have a low partitioned cubicle which I share with my assistant. From my vantage point I can see almost everyone in the office (and I can hear them too). No such thing as privacy. I've gotta make an effort to keep my temper and speak in a low voice when I have one on one meetings. He he he... there goes the old "Ballistic Dave".

Frankly, looking back at the last 10 months, I'm very lucky that I got this job at this part of my life. It has shaken me out of my comfort zone and it has forced me to stop being complacent. Perhaps 12 years of PDI work has dulled the edges. After a while it became routine and I stopped learning. At KKP, my brain is beginning to wake up and I'm starting to learn once again.

Next blog... traveling. The best part of this job.

Working for WWF - Part 1

After almost 10 months, I finally got the urge to start writing this long delayed blog. As you might know by now, I'm a lousy blog writer. Too slow. Shallow content. Too much biking stuff. Ok granted, but its fun anyway... especially going over the old blogs and figuring out why I was thinking that way months back.

Just so you know that this isn't entirely a bikiing blog, I've decided to write about my new job, even if it isn't that new anymore. It has been an amazing 10 months working for WWF. When I walked into this job I was determined to keep an open mind and to try not to let my first impressions take over. But I must admit that it's not been easy adjusting...

First off is the NGO paradigms. Chuck out the old capitalist mindset that profit and greed is good.... we're talking triple bottomline here. The 3 Ps. It's no longer just Profit; you gotta think about People and the Planet. Some call it the Economic, Social and Environment bottomlines. After a month or so working with WWF, I felt like a sinner headed for hell and trying very hard to be saved. I recall one incident that struck me. I was driving along EDSA with Susan, and we saw one of those roving billboards mounted on a truck. It was advertising Manila Ocean Park, a marine park that was about to open which we were partnering with. My first thought was that it was a good move for MOP. It showed they were confident about their market and that they were bravely investing in good marketing. Typical thoughts coming from a marketer who's been in this communication business for more than 20 years. But good old Susan goes, "That's terrible! Can you imagine all the CO2 they're emitting? We have to call them and tell them to stop this." I burst out laughing until I realized she wasn't joking. All throughout my career, I've always had this attitude that the world was full of "lesser evils" that we had to swallow. I've been a fan of advertising for all my life and for all its ubiquitousness and even intrusive nature, I felt it was a necessary part of business that people had to accept (and frankly enjoy).

I thought about it hard and realized that Susan was right. This climate change thing is no longer some theory concocted by some obscure doomsday scientist. And it's not one of those things that will go away if we don't think about it. Every little bit counts. Tolerating wastefulness and inefficient use of fossil fuels is like throwing out garbage out of your car and saying, "that's ok. It's a small part of the gazzilion tons of garbage the city produces every day."

More on this in Part 2.